Pain

What is this sharp pain? Where is it coming from? I can’t bear it. Where am I? What is this loud sound? Who is singing this loud?

I opened his room’s door and saw Ansh singing out loud, with ear phones as usual plugged to his ears.

“Please stop! I will go deaf and with your superb voice I will lose all sense of rhythm and tunes very soon”. I said tearing off that thing from his ears. I detest touching it for even a second. What is with this generation and their love for weird things? It gives me creeps, looks like a live wire or a weird creepy crawly stuck to his ears.

“Maa please let me be. Why can’t I do what I want in my room? And you are my mom, you are not supposed to discourage my singing like this. Didn’t we see that program on discovery together? You can demotivate me from singing and music like this forever. You will scald me from music like this”

As soon as Ansh says it we both burst in laughter.

“Okay I will not scald you for life. Now will you please be a good boy and run to the Kirana shop and bring me some onions right now. No onions at home and Mr and Mrs Shrama are coming for dinner. Please do this first and then go back to your horrible yelling you call singing.”

“Maa one last song and then I will go promise” Ansh says and hugs me tight.

I feel a warm glow at my 18 year old son’s hug. Warm and fuzzy feeling...but what is this pain, this piercing pain. I can feel it starting from my heart and spreading all over. Wait, Why is Rohini running around?

“Rohini come here please” I yell at my 10 year old daughter. Stop running away and take your cough syrup now. You don’t want remain sick? Do you? Common!!”.

She looks at me and runs in Ansh’s room. As I begin pacing towards their room, I could hear deafening laughter, I peek and see Ansh trying to catch her. And finally she gives in and takes the syrup from Ansh’s hands.

Both of them together Ansh taking care of Rohini like a parent fills my heart and my eyes. A tear trickles down. Why am I crying? No, I can’t bear the pain. Please someone help me. Please. I want to yell and cry loudly but I am not able to. I can feel warm gush of tears flooding my face. Why am I crying? This is a party? Why am I crying at the party? This is my home.

Ansh comes in with a large cake and I don’t know how many candles? I am still surprised and can’t believe this was all a prank, a joke. I seriously thought they had forgotten my birthday. I sulked the whole day and missed Raman. I kept thinking of all my birthdays when he was alive and kept crying in my room, only to be surprised in the evening with this party. They didn’t forget, it was a prank. All this while they had one of the biggest bashes planned for me. I still can’t believe how many of my friends and family members are here. Yes turning fifty is indeed special.

“Happy Birthday to you Ma” Ansh and Rohini sing loudly and smash the cake on my face. Why is it hurting? They didn’t hurt me, it was a soft touch. Why is it hurting so much?

I am trying to cross the road. There is so much traffic on this road today. I am going to be late now. I should have left a little early; I knew how important today’s performance was for Ansh. This way I will stand on this side of the road the whole night. I throw caution out of the window and decide to cross the road. A lot of honking and a loud screech......And then there is pain and darkness.

I can’t feel anything else except this pain. This pain has taken over all of my senses. It has spread to my whole body. It is gut wrenching, it is tearing me apart. I feel like pieces of me are falling one by one. Now the pain is also leaving with my parts one by one...and gradually it is reducing. I am feeling light, weightless, almost like I could fly.

I am flying...I look down and see my lifeless body lying in a pool of blood on the road. I want to feel sad. I want to feel the remorse for leaving my kids alone but I am feeling light, feeling content. No pain, no remorse.. I am floating, moving towards the light and I feel myself dissolve...part by part..fraction by fraction. And then bliss!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Writer's note: This is a short story about a woman, who meets with an accident and as she is lying in pain on the road, her life flashes in front of her eyes. She relives some of the moments from her life before giving in.