Saturday 26 October 2013

Why I Pray

I don’t know why I pray
May be
I pray because I am
I am because I pray
I pray because I have faith
I pray because I know you are there

So many times I questioned
So many times you answered
So many answers you gave
Without any questions
I pray to let you know
I am there
I am there because of you
I am there and I love you
Not because I want something
But because I have you
I pray to you...for you

People question
People laugh
People gape
When I talk to you
So many times I justified
That you are there
So many times I tried to prove
That you care
And then I gave up
Faith can’t be forced
Faith can be questioned
It can be cut into pieces
And it can be thrown in the sea
It will be tested time and again
And it will survive
If it’s true
So many times I pray
Because I know you are true
So many times I pray
Just to hold on to you

I pray for no reasons
I pray on no occasions
I pray because I believe
I pray to hold on
I pray to connect to myself
Because you is me
That’s where you live
Right inside me

So many times I pray
But I don’t
So many times I want to ask for things
Then I can’t
Because I don’t pray for reasons
So many times I pray
Just pray.....


I am a part of a small NGO and just before leaving for my home town on Diwali ever year, I do a mini celebration with my special kids there. This year as a part of the celebration and pooja the gifts will include a special package of “SampoornaLakshmi Pooja Pack”. Not only because I am writing this as a part of a contest but also because the contest made me think and question my faith. I questioned and reasoned and I am glad my faith in the supreme power stood firm. I hope someday every one realise that the power is within us, we are our believes, we are our strengths and we are our weakness. It is in our hand to use or abuse the supreme power latent within us.

This post is written for the contest–Everyone has a reason to pray at PurePrayer


Friday 25 October 2013

Her Dream Wedding?

Her hands are covered in henna
and her face is decorated with a shy smile
but her heart is disobeying her
She wants to be happy
She promised herself
It will be alright
It will be her fairytale night

Her wedding,
Like everyone said will be her re-birth
Her dreams
Like everyone said were just dirt
They why all of a sudden
She was unsure
They why all of a sudden
She didn’t feel happy anymore
Why after ages her heart was not with her
Then why all of a sudden 
everything was blur

She was asked to meet her taker
After he said yes
After she was informed
After it was officially announced to the world
But she couldn’t make herself go
May be she wanted to delay the future
May be she wanted it to remain a dreamy dream
Her refusal was appreciated
Her being coy was expected
She didn’t ask anything
No one told her anything
Not knowing is better
She thought to herself again and again

She survived the prying eyes of future relatives
She nodded at all right places as it was imperative
She cooked and she walked
She looked down and never talked
She did everything right
As right as the word right
As correct as the word correct

An Indian Bride. Photo: Flickr.com. 

Then why all of  a sudden
She feels trapped
She feels choked
This is the eve of her fairytale wedding
Why even after people calling her outside
She couldn’t open the door
It was too late to do anything
Was it too late to do anything?
May be she can’t run away
If she goes out she will be forced into the marriage
But is there only one door to go out?
May be not
She closes her eyes and chooses the door
That will let her fly
That will let her be free
Forever!!

 This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. We give out themes for creative writing each weekend for Indian bloggers

Image credit here


Don't give up

Don’t give up
Just yet
It seems alone and dark
It looks tough and stark
But you have just started
There are miles to go
There are millions to know
Fall is just a season
Dusk is just an hour
There is sun and light
World is pretty and bright
Don’t look down
Just yet
Look out
Look up
No don’t give up
Just yet


Round the corner
Is my home
I am there
You are never alone
I will walk with you
I will be your wings
I will love you ever
No don’t be afraid
Just yet
Even if its dark
I am still out there
So don’t give up
Just yet


Days are tough
Roads are rough
You are bare
And you are sore
Legs are young
and refuse to walk anymore
Eyes are tired
Refuse to see anymore
No don’t close your eyes
Just yet
There is a wonderful world to see
There are thousand places to be
No don’t give up
Just yet


Come to me
Lets walk together
Be me and I will be you forever
Let’s walk the distance together
We are alone but not lonely
I am you and you are me
No don’t cry just yet
No don’t sigh just yet
Get up now and dust your hands
There are a thousand hearts to mend
There are a million smiles to spread
There are a thousand words to speak
No don’t die
Just yet
There are a thousand lives to live



Saturday 19 October 2013

I promise

I promise to be there
Even when you are not
I promise to be bare
Even if you have stopped
Especially when you have stopped

I promise to open the door
Everytime you knock
I will always be at the shore
Waiting for you round the clock
Even if you have stopped coming
Specially when you have stopped coming

I promise to cry with you everytime you are sad
I promise to laugh with you whenever I am happy
I promise to stand by you, during everything that is bad
I will always stitch it up, when things get patchy
Even if you stop paying attention
Specially if you stop paying attention

I promise to be me
I promise to never change
I promise these promises
Not in exchange
But because I believe in you and I know 
What all I have gained
From you and from your goodness
From us and our togetherness

I love you for everything that you can’t be
I promise to never push you into something that you can’t be
I promise you to keep all the promises
And whenever I couldn’t
I promise you I will try again
Till I could






Thursday 17 October 2013

Dusk

File:Marloes Sands Dusk Wales UK 2004.png

Waiting for its lover
Sun praying on the beach
Eternal quest to meet

The night in full glory
Hugging the orange hue
Filling its heart with the dancing rays

The union lasts for few moments
Eyes burnt and heart filled
A life spent and a life lived

Image Credit here

Monday 14 October 2013

Silence

I tried tried and tried
But couldn’t find it
Even in my thoughts
There was no silence

Silence evades me
We sit on opposite sides
We love yet hate each other
Oh how I wish you were with me
But when you were there I never liked you
Now I call you to come to me
But if and when you come
I know I will hate you

My days, my hours, my thoughts
My life, my dreams, my world
filled with sounds and clutter
Sound of incessant laughters
And continuous cries
Noise of continuous tantrums
And hours of endless plays
My home is filled with little steps
My heart is filled with big joys
And my mind is filled with sounds
Sounds I hope are always there

Silence though I wish for
Silence though I know is imminent
But still I hope it escapes me forever
And my home, my heart is forever filled with
Little laughters, 
small prints, 
big noises and 
bigger joys




Saturday 12 October 2013

Alive?

I am free
Free of forms
Forms that bind
Bind to love, life and duties
Duties that are endless
Endless hours and thankless job
Job became I
I was stuck
Stuck in the hours
Hours that flew
Flew but never ended
Ended but were always there
There I was stuck
Stuck in the circle
Circle of life
Life I lived but never did
Did I live?
Live through others was my life
Life that I lived but never did
Did I live?
Live..yes I did but like a dead
Dead I am but alive more than my life
Life that was spent on others
Others whom I left behind
Behind my walls, shelves, racks and death
Death is liberating
Liberating and free
Free I am
Am I dead?
Dead but alive

Alive more than life

Naked

Naked in my dreams
Falling through sky
Panting and dry
Running from wolfs
Sitting on a tree
Sinking in fire
Burning in water
I am naked in my dreams

My visions are weird
My lovers are none
My heart is bleeding
And I am running from guns
I cut and I throttle
I cry and I smother
I wear my tears
I live in my fears
And I am naked
Naked in my dreams


My follies are my thoughts
My fiends are my friends
I live in a never land
With bricks and stones to eat
I kick everyone around
And I get kicks
And I am naked
Naked in my dreams

I get on the roof
And look down
Only thing I can see
Is the dark and brown
Of my unknown thoughts
Of my bare soul
Of my stomach pit
Brown and black
Black and grey
Covered in ashes
Smeared in blood
Clenching my teeth
Gritting my guts
Wearing nothing but me
I am naked

Naked in my dreams
Dead in my sleep
Falling and dying
Sinking and running
From me
I don’t know why
I am naked in my dreams



Writer's note: The prompt suggested we write about our darker sides. My dreams are my darkest side...they always have been. I still call them dreams and not nightmares because I am not scared of them..may be they reflect my negetive mind frame that most of the times I refuse to acknowledge.

Thursday 3 October 2013

Children are not trophies

Being a parent I am a part of lot of official and unofficial parents' groups, I interact with a lot of other parents and with each interaction and with each parent, I see the race increasing, the need to prove that their child is better than your child. I am not generalizing here I have seen this enough number of times to call this a phenomenon amongst parents.

Children are brought forward and their each and every..even trivial accomplishments spoken about in high pitched voices in almost all parents’ gathering I attend these days. What happens when this happens?

Or you can ask what is wrong if this happens? If the child has accomplished something then why not blow your own trumpet in front of the world? I say...There is nothing wrong in doing this sometimes. I also do it and I ask every parent to please go ahead and praise your kids for their achievements which are important. But if you do it for every small thing, please pause and ask few pertinent questions.

What are you celebrating..your child's accomplishments or your child's accomplishments as compared to other children?

If the answer to above question is that..you are not comparing your child with anyone else but you like to talk about everything he/she excels in, think again.

A simple poem written for the first time or the first sentence framed on their own will also be achievements. But what if they do it after most of their friends have done it? What if he/she is the last person in the class to grasp a new concept? Will you still celebrate these achievements?? If yes..please go ahead and do it for things which you think are important. Not every line drawn, not every word spoken is a milestone to be shared with the world, right?

If you celebrate each and every small thing your child achieves, don't you think this will put a lot of pressure on your child? He/She would be under immense pressure to perform and to excel/succeed in everything. It creates a ripple effect. The more you will talk about their small/little accomplishments, the more you will expect them to succeed in everything. The more you will expect from them, the more pressure will be there on them.

Once you start shouting out loud and displaying them as trophies..it increases pressure on them and on you because now they are expected to perform everytime. They are expected to not fail every time. Parents become a part of this trap, it becomes a cycle which is difficult to break and kids become a mere prey in the game, a mere trophy to showcase.

If we continue doing this every time for every little success what will happen when they don’t succeed?

File:Cute boy face with butterfly.jpg

How will we feel when every other parent is talking about how well their child is doing in maths in their class and we know our child is lagging behind. If you are a parent who is use to of displaying your child like a trophy, you will put unnecessary pressure on your child to perform. The motive will not be to make him learn and understand the concept, the motive will be to make him win, make him come first in this ongoing race. And if you are a child of such parent what will be your frame of mind. You would be terrified of failures, you would be petrified to face your parents for every missed question and every wrong answer.

Yes we should be proud of their accomplishments, yes we should motivate them, encourage them but do we need to do it for everything and do it every time we see other parents? Are we trying to prove that our children are better than other children everytime? What is the need? Really?? Why?? Why do we care?

Shouldn’t we also tell them that it is okay to fail and fall sometimes? Infact they should fail so that they learn how to stand up and succeed through failure.

As a parent I am also tempted so many times. I know my child is doing well and there are times I do talk about the things he is doing well but I don’t want him to think he is better than other children in everything. Because he is not. So I don’t do it every time. I do it for things that I know are important for him, things that are really big to be spoken of atleast once.

When he does lags behind I do feel a little off, get a little upset but I move on and focus  on him learning the concept, even if he is doing it last in the class. Why am I okay with it? Because I have not created unrealistic expectations around my children.. I do talk about their accomplishments but I prioritize. I define. I keep it under certain boundaries. I also accept it is not easy, we love our kids and it is so nice to talk about their accomplishments, to praise them, to see others praise them but what came as an eye opener for me, was a look at such kids who were under a lot of pressure, who were trying to outdo other kids, who were competing not only with other kids but also with themselves, trying to outdo one achievement after the other. A look at their face every time they do not succeed, every time they fail will break your heart.

I will try my best to keep my children away from the rat race. I don't know how long I will be successful in it but I will try. They are not trophies, medals to display...they are my children, my champs and like me they excel in few things and they are not good in others. I am completely okay with it. 

It is their life, their accomplishments, we are a part of it. Their life is not about me but about them.

They have to be prepared for failures, hurts and tears. And we have to be there everytime when they fall. No we cannot fall when they fall, we can’t rest when they rest. It is not about us when we are with them. It is about them. We cannot make it about us, it will never be.

Children are not trophies or medals, they are not our property to be displayed.


Image credit here