Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

Saturday 1 June 2013

Raise yourself.....to stop raised hands





“Thad” came the sound and Vipul came running out of his room....alas his worst fears came true. His Ma was on the floor and Baba was pouncing on her again. For a 10 year old this was too much to bear every night.
He thought to himself "No I cannot let this happen to Ma again and again...how will I be able to look at my own face after looking at the blues and bruises of Ma’s", so inspite of repeated warnings of his dad he budged in and held his dad's hand...tightly....very tightly...with all the strength of a 10 yr old....

“Thad”...came a sound again and...again...and a physical impact which was enough to throw Vipul down on the ground.

It was not from his dad but from his mom...with a scream “How can you hold your dad’s hands and threaten him....he is a man....man of the house...my husband, your dad...he can do whatever he wants....”

22 years down the line, same household...same sounds...Thad...Fhat....thad!!!

Vipul was violently pouncing on his wife in front of his parents....and no one stopped him. People passing by the house could hear the slaughter but no one cared to even stop, this was normal, every day occurring.

(Legacy continues!!)

In the same house eight year old Ajay and ten year old Asha were looking from the corner.....
Asha " Ajay it will be alright. Don't worry, Ma said it is ok"
Ajay "No this is not right.....how can this be okay? Why should Baba beat up Ma just because he is a man?? Don't you remember what Teacher didi said? Man and woman are equal and no man should raise his hand on a woman. Teacher di is right....this is wrong and we will fight against it"

Ajay and Asha jumped to their mom’s rescue, in process got beaten up themselves several times but with each beating their values against violence became more and more strong....(with constant counselling and support of teacher didi)

(Correct Education had pierced through the thick walls of this house....Now change was inevitable)

Few more years down the line...

Same house but it exudes happiness and glow. People passing by can still hear noise but the noise is from kids playing, laughing. The deafening sound of kids running towards him, the smile and twinkle in his wife’s eyes when he enters the house  makes each day worth living for Ajay.......The change has happened...

This is a happy home....full of love, care, laughters and bliss.....Amay and Kriti both know how much Ma and Baba love each other and love both of them....(equally)

And in a neighboring town, Asha was in the kitchen hurriedly finishing up cooking. She has to help Puja (her 8 year old daughter) with her studies and complete her office project file also. Her husband was out of station.She heard loud noises from her neighbors house,fearing the worst she ran towards the house and saw the husband raising his hand to hit his wife and kids....

Thad....thad!!!

The sound was from the wife, raising her hand to stop the blow and shutting the door after leaving the house.

Asha took a deep breath...a relieved breath. Her conversation with the neighbor has had some impact. Finally she realized it was not right and stood up against the violence

(Legacy of education and righteousness will continue)..

This was a fictional story...to depict the existence and reason behind existence of domestic violence in our country.

Yes...the abuser is mostly man of the house but Is the man really responsible for this behaviour?

NO!!

Women are responsible....responsible for thinking getting beaten up by their husbands is okay and they impart the same education to their sons and daughters...who in turn would become the abuser and abusee....

It’s high time we realize that we need to change our social system based on gender bias. It is high time that we intervene through correct education and create a parallel system based on gender equality.

We do not need to educate only men...ofcourse we should talk to men also but the primary education needs to be provided to the woman and children of the house.

A woman should be educated and counselled about all the legal rights she has. Rights not against men but rights similar and equal to men...and she should be encouraged to pass on and share this knowledge with her children.

And all children compulsorily should be educated about gender equality at school. There should be programs specially designed for this starting at an early age of 5-6 years..

And last but not the least it is a responsibility of each and every parent to educate and practice gender equality at home.......same rules, same rights and same punishments for both boys and girls.

This will be more difficult for parents of boys (Yes boys not girls) because it is easy to teach any capable girl that you are capable no matter what anyone says....but it will be far more difficult to teach boys that you are capable only basis your efficiency and not because of your gender......

Let’s bring it out in open, bring it in our households...let’s take an initiative and talk about it with our kids today and on every possible occasion in future....

Let’s make homes safer for women 

This post is written with a focus on domestic violence, as a part of the initiative “Ring the bell for Indi Change” propelled by www.bellbajao.org

Image courtsey Voicesfordignity.com

Thursday 2 May 2013

"A normal special day"

"A special photograph of a normal day"

It is special because it exudes normalcy. A rare moment which will never come back, a moment which will remain etched in my memory forever.

It is one of the last photographs of me and my first born alone (Yess look closely i am there in the background). 

It was from the last few days when we were just us. A normal mother and son “Duo””(This photograph was taken just before we conceived our second baby)

It was a day of his demands, his babyness, his running around the house creating ruckus, a day of non sensical chatter.

The toy that he is holding... reminds me of our endless hours of innocent plays (we kicked it, rode it and yes ultimately killed it).

His bike reminds me how he refused to learn to ride it and it remained his push toy forever.

The T Shirt he is wearing reminds me how easily I could put him in pink then.

His hairstyle reminds me how for hours i would painstakingly turn him into a girl.

His smile reminds me of the innocence and all the naughtiness that was about to come.
Our Duo has now given way to the “Trio”

His demands and tantrums of being the only child have given way to subtlety and understanding of a big brother.

I knew with the third member it will change and may be become more special. But I can’t help but miss our regular duo days.

If I knew the naughty demanding child will so easily slip into a grown up big bro I would have held on to the time more strongly.

I am not complaining but sometimes rather every time I look at this snap it reminds me of the time when it was just him and me.

"I miss that normal special alone day with him" 


PS: BlogwatiG, to answer the question "Why would he'd be a perfect royal baby?"

Well because he is a royalty's son!! Duh!!!





This post is shared with Indblogeshwari’s “That Tuesday thingy Fourth”

Also this post is my entry for the 'One Picture From My Photo Album' contest conducted by My Yatra Diary and CupoNation



Forget me but remember me


When you grow up, forget me but remember me

Forget what I packed in ur tiffin but remember the taste of my food

Forget what toys I bought for u but remember how we played for hours

Forget my yells, screams and shouts but remember how I cried when u cried 

Forget my hugs and kisses but remember my touch

Forget how I looked but remember my fingers through your hair

Forget how I said I love u but remember my love for u

Forget our secret little handshake but remember how strongly I held ur hands when u were scared crossing the road

Forget how I waited for the school bus to drop u but remember I am still waiting for u

Forget ur daily life with me but remember how I lived my life through you

Forget how I taught u to use the phone but remember I am still just a phone call away!!!!!!!

Friday 26 April 2013

My "Top 16 Mommy Qualms"

Here is a list of some awesomely awful things i never expected from being a mom...somehow i was almost as clueless second time around as first:

  1. Kids have brains...really , they do.,even infants.....God why??????
  2. Somehow they know when i am in the loo....every time...every single time (I think we should potty train moms---really..sync your loo time with Sundays only J..aah and if IPL is on...even that may not work)
  3. They can smell clean dress on mommy.....and i know a bulb goes off in the head...tinggg how come mom looks clean!!!!!!
  4.  They wait for u to change diapers and bang.....boom....everytime in the fresh diaper....
  5. Everything...that someone else’s mom cooks is their favourite....

Wednesday 24 April 2013

Tuesday 16 April 2013

Build memories

As a parent it is very important for me that my kids grow up with a bag full of joyful memories.
Stories driven by them, lifes sculpted around them, hours and hours dedicated to them...magical journey called " Growing up!!!!!"
Everyday when they get up they should be filled with hope and anticipation about the day to come. My house should scream of laughs, happiness,noise, dance and music and hence mess and fingerprints all around.
This i want to follow as much as i can and as long as i can. Ofcourse I know this may not work everytime, there will be very good days, good days and not so good days but any day should have some elements of love, magic and laughter to it, doesn't matter how off the day was.

Oh yes i already have had my share of "not soo good" exhausting and tiring days. Both boys falling sick together, both boys and mum falling sick, kids snapping @ each other (hitting not allowed, understood thoroughly by no.1),non stop cuts, bruises, runny noses, bangss, booms etc etc but then comes the "Tadaa moments". Both of them laughing together (mind u no.1 is 4 yrs and no.2 is 10 months), playing together, No.1 scolding me for being rude to his baby (no.2), wet kisses from runny noses, endless hugs out of nowhere,being told again and again how much i am loved...list goes on and on....

Project @ home

Staying @ home-not working after having kids should be the most difficult decision anyone has to take.This blog is how I became "Juz Mom" after working for 7 long years and after a flourishing and fulfilling career.

I was a working mom for the first 2 years of my elder sons life.And then I decided to"Quit".--take a break--a sabbatical -- not work in office for sometime.

What led to the decision were a lot of different factors- largely more personal and selfish reasons than my son.
And I had quit. From that "Quit this job day" to now my life has completely changed.
I started out as a very strong individual. Wanting my space, my freedom, my me time, loving me also along with my son. The break was meant to be for me also. Dont get me wrong I did love my son to death but when the @ home project started the idea was not only to spend time with my kid but also to spend time doing things that i enjoy (alone!!!!!!!!!!)

But down the line- more than 2 years later, Here I am - sitting in a stained night dress, smelling of food, milk, baby powder and Love!!!!!!!

I dont know what happened, when did my "@ home project" became "Juztamom project" But:-


  • Am I complaining- "absolutely not"
  • Am I Happy- :Blissfully happy and content"
  • Do I miss office- "Oh hell yessssssss"
  • Do I miss it enough to go back-"Oh hell noooooooooooooo"
My life right now is my kids. I am shamelessly in love with them. Yes there are days when i feel trapped, harrassed, hassled , short of breath and (all other similar adjectives). There are days when I want to run to jungle and take Sanyaas. But you know what i felt same when i was working also. What is different is when i was in office and felt suffocated I never wanted to go back. But now when i feel suffocated...I still want to be in the same space, not by guilt or duty but by sheer love for my kids.