My "Top 16 Mommy Qualms"

Here is a list of some awesomely awful things i never expected from being a mom...somehow i was almost as clueless second time around as first:

1. Kids have brains...really , they do.,even infants.....God why??????
2. Somehow they know when i am in the loo....every time...every single time (I think we should potty train moms---really..sync your loo time with Sundays only J..aah and if IPL is on...even that may not work)
3. They can smell clean dress on mommy.....and i know a bulb goes off in the head...tinggg how come mom looks clean!!!!!!
4.  They wait for u to change diapers and bang.....boom....everytime in the fresh diaper....
5. Everything...that someone else’s mom cooks is their favourite....
6.  Friends mom is always right....(yaa plz go and live with her)
7.  Milk is always too hot or too cold
8. Everything that u cook...erghhhhh...is either too spicy, too bland, too cold etc etc
9. I am hungry......just before going to bed...like a second before...
10. I have to peeee just after touching the highway...with a no stop sign.
11. Baby powder is a great tool to aid Skatingggg.....(My back still hurts from the last fall on it)
12. My new best friend is the kid of someone u really dislike.
13. I am sleepy just when u r about to ask him to study...seriously its like he can read my face
14.  I am not sleepy  (a second before dozing off ...)
15.  I want A BANANA....just after u packed off the last banana in his dad’s lunch
16. Big toothy smile ...big hugs and big i love yousss..just when u realised the whole bedroom is covered in mess 

These are a few cute things out of a long list that make my whole day and leave me exasperated by day end, really wish there was a way to mommy train my kids...Please feel free to add your mommy cringes and flinches!!!!!