As
a child I remember I use to watch TV on Sunday mornings with a dose of Donald
Duck and Mickey mouse. This restriction was not only because of lack of options
on TV but also I never thought weekdays are for watching TV. No one in the
house would watch TV on weekdays except for news at night and Rangoli on
Wednesday (I think).On Sunday all of us had different time allocated to watch
TV. Mornings was ours, afternoon was my mom’s and evening movie was for all of
us. Nights for Dad.
When
I became a parent few years back, there was a long list of “To dos and not to
dos” for my child in my mind. One of them was not allowing too much TV time to
my kids. But was I able to do it?
No
I was not. It was not easy, I was a working parent and he was much calmer and
easier to manage while watching TV. So I thought I will allow it for a little
while, he is too small/young to form habits but I was wrong, he had gotten addicted to TV and cartoons.And
when I finally realised it, he was about 3.5years. A 3.5 year old with a very
strong mind and personality, hence just telling him to not watch the TV
suddenly was not working.
This
raised a question..Should I completely stop him from watching TV? And if not
how much is okay? And how do I change the habit?
I
asked around and I was bombarded with contradictions. Most of them said that
children should not be allowed any television but their children watch because they
can’t help it and there is no alternate entertainment etc etc. Hence though it is
not okay, still I won’t be able to stop him. Hence I should let him be; maybe he would
grow out of the habit on his own.
But
I didn’t want to let it go. I decided to learn with my own experience. I was
sure if I work would with him I would be able to come up with a balance. I didn’t
want him to never watch TV. Why not? But I wanted a balance.
With
a lot of efforts and hours put in with him, I can proudly say he is not
addicted to Television any more. He is 4.5 years and does have a favorite
cartoon character but it is limited to stories and he understands the
difference between television world and real world.
After
a lot of trial and error the plan that has worked for almost 6 months now and
is still working is this:
Ten stars
I
don’t know how I came up with this concept. I am sure it was through surfing on the
internet but this is what works with my son. Though it was devised for TV
viewing, I follow it diligently for good and bad behaviour and it works like
magic.
In
a week he has to earn atleast 10 stars in order to watch television. If by
Saturday he has earned 10 stars he is allowed TV for 1 hour. (Nonstop, with no
interference and breaks)
If
he earns more than 10 stars, with each star his time increases by 15 minutes
(this rarely happens, most of the time he just about manages 10 stars)
When
I started the plan, in order to encourage him to participate in it and to
motivate him; I use to give him a star for every small thing that he would do
correctly. Like brushing his teeth properly on his own, at correct time would
yield him a star earlier but now it has become a healthy habit for him and I
have increased level of difficulties for him to earn a star.
These
are the activities at my home that earns him a Star:
1)Following correct routine for
brushing, bathing, keeping his clothes in the laundry basket, getting ready for
school, keeping his things at their place and cleaning his room at day end. All
these things done correctly would yield him one star, daily!
2)Eating his meals on his own. Finishing
all the meals. One star, daily.
3)One good deed (this I have started
only now). Since he is not even 5 this is a difficult concept for him. I have
brought it down to a simple and uncomplicated level. He needs to either help me
or one of his friends or his brother or any uncle/aunt in carrying out any
task. Again one star daily.
In
order for this system to work I am very particular about:
1)Following it diligently and not
letting it go.
2)Being strict about stars. He has
understood that he has to earn the stars. No amount of pleading or buttering
would work.
3)His dad is an equal partner in this
and most of time he doesn’t give in on his buttering J
4)If he has earned 10 stars, I make sure
that he gets his TV time as promised. (Even if Patidev wants to watch TV, he
has to wait)
Along
with this I also think children learn a lot from parents. We are not a big
television viewing family. I think this is also helping me in establishing a
good habit. He doesn’t see us watching TV, hence he never questions why is he
not allowed?. But if you do watch TV at home, make sure to lead with a good
example. Show restraint in front of children, they will also learn and will
show restraint when asked for.
All
kids are different. There are different things and different concept that would
work with them. This has worked with my child but it may not work with yours.Also I am a stay at home mother; so its easier for me to look after small things. It may be difficult for a working mother.
But I do urge every parent to keep trying. There are always ways and concepts
that would eventually work with your child. Just telling them no and expecting
them to follow may not work everytime. I believe we should strive for a balance between being strict and being creative.
Things that can be handled in a creative way; may look difficult in the starting but with a routine it gets easier and saves a lot of headache later.
