What does gender has to do with it?

Everywhere we go we are judged on various things, examples can be a stranger on the road judging us on our clothes, shopkeeper judging us on our wallet, neighbours judging us on our TV brand and model, neighbourhood aunty judging you on the hours you reach home etc etc but the most common and most rampant thing I have been judged on is my gender.

Growing up in a middleclass house in a small town, surrounded by various aunties and uncles, me and my sister were used to of being judged on our skirt lengths, our lone travel in the city, our night outings (beyond 7pm is night there) etc. But as soon as we would reach home we knew the gender was left outside our door. There was no room for gender in our house. Three of us had equal right, equal privileges and were entitled to equal spanking.

We were told again and again that we are what we are, as good as our abilities, as big as our dreams.

We were not girl or boy, we were students, children, friends and above all we were human.

As we stepped out of childhood and started taking little steps in the world on our own, we saw the gender becoming bigger and bigger around us. Girls were barred from doing many things. Things as simple as you can’t stand at the corner of the neighbourhood lane if you are a girl and god forbid if you do insist on doing it either you would be subjected to inane comments or whistles by boys or taunts by some aunty about being a shameless girl.

But we always thought we will soon grow out of it, grow out of the city, out of the people. We always thought what our mother said was right...some day when we will have an opportunity we will prove our mantle and we will be as good as our ability.

Soon very soon I stepped out alone in the world and took it with aplomb. I was successful beyond my dreams also and I had forgotten about my gender or rather I never thought my gender would have to do anything with my career but I was wrong.

Here comes the gender again!!

I was taunted again that I was successful because of my gender not because of my hard work or abilities.

I tried to forgive and forget the first instance but it kept happening again and again. It started reaching me, hurting me and hence I decided to tone down my gender. How did I do that?

I started dressing more neutrally, off went my pretty dresses, awesome fit shirts, my shoe collection etc. This went on for quite sometime and I thought this ought to shut up people because I don’t even look pretty but again I was wrong. It continued!

It is still continuing.....I am not working in an organisation now. I am not a part of any company. I am sitting in my ugly pajamas at my ugly table and writing but still I am being judged for my gender.

For some reason I thought this world would be different. Writers would be different, they would be more evolved. Anyways pen doesn’t have a gender or so I thought.

No here also gender is there. It is as prevalent as any other place on earth and it did get to me again. But I am glad I soon realised that if I would let this affect me now, I am not being as good as my ability, I am being as good as their judgement.

So here I am announcing....

"I am an attractive woman, a yum mum and a blogger. None of these are correlated and I will not apologise for any of it.

You can attribute your failure to your gender but I will not attribute my success to my gender. Rather every step I take here is a tribute to womanhood and every woman I know.