Children and TV

As a child I remember I use to watch TV on Sunday mornings with a dose of Donald Duck and Mickey mouse. This restriction was not only because of lack of options on TV but also I never thought weekdays are for watching TV. No one in the house would watch TV on weekdays except for news at night and Rangoli on Wednesday (I think).On Sunday all of us had different time allocated to watch TV. Mornings was ours, afternoon was my mom’s and evening movie was for all of us. Nights for Dad.

Image credit telegraph.co.uk

When I became a parent few years back, there was a long list of “To dos and not to dos” for my child in my mind. One of them was not allowing too much TV time to my kids. But was I able to do it?

No I was not. It was not easy, I was a working parent and he was much calmer and easier to manage while watching TV. So I thought I will allow it for a little while, he is too small/young to form habits but I was wrong, he had gotten addicted to TV and cartoons.And when I finally realised it, he was about 3.5years. A 3.5 year old with a very strong mind and personality, hence just telling him to not watch the TV suddenly was not working.

This raised a question..Should I completely stop him from watching TV? And if not how much is okay? And how do I change the habit?

I asked around and I was bombarded with contradictions. Most of them said that children should not be allowed any television but their children watch because they can’t help it and there is no alternate entertainment etc etc. Hence though it is not okay, still I won’t be able to stop him. Hence I should let him be; maybe he would grow out of the habit on his own.

But I didn’t want to let it go. I decided to learn with my own experience. I was sure if I work would with him I would be able to come up with a balance. I didn’t want him to never watch TV. Why not? But I wanted a balance.

With a lot of efforts and hours put in with him, I can proudly say he is not addicted to Television any more. He is 4.5 years and does have a favorite cartoon character but it is limited to stories and he understands the difference between television world and real world.

After a lot of trial and error the plan that has worked for almost 6 months now and is still working is this:

Ten stars

I don’t know how I came up with this concept. I am sure it was through surfing on the internet but this is what works with my son. Though it was devised for TV viewing, I follow it diligently for good and bad behaviour and it works like magic.

In a week he has to earn atleast 10 stars in order to watch television. If by Saturday he has earned 10 stars he is allowed TV for 1 hour. (Nonstop, with no interference and breaks)

If he earns more than 10 stars, with each star his time increases by 15 minutes (this rarely happens, most of the time he just about manages 10 stars)

When I started the plan, in order to encourage him to participate in it and to motivate him; I use to give him a star for every small thing that he would do correctly. Like brushing his teeth properly on his own, at correct time would yield him a star earlier but now it has become a healthy habit for him and I have increased level of difficulties for him to earn a star.

These are the activities at my home that earns him a Star:

1)Following correct routine for brushing, bathing, keeping his clothes in the laundry basket, getting ready for school, keeping his things at their place and cleaning his room at day end. All these things done correctly would yield him one star, daily!

2)Eating his meals on his own. Finishing all the meals. One star, daily.

3)One good deed (this I have started only now). Since he is not even 5 this is a difficult concept for him. I have brought it down to a simple and uncomplicated level. He needs to either help me or one of his friends or his brother or any uncle/aunt in carrying out any task. Again one star daily.

In order for this system to work I am very particular about:

1)Following it diligently and not letting it go.

2)Being strict about stars. He has understood that he has to earn the stars. No amount of pleading or buttering would work.

3)His dad is an equal partner in this and most of time he doesn’t give in on his buttering J 

4)If he has earned 10 stars, I make sure that he gets his TV time as promised. (Even if Patidev wants to watch TV, he has to wait)

Along with this I also think children learn a lot from parents. We are not a big television viewing family. I think this is also helping me in establishing a good habit. He doesn’t see us watching TV, hence he never questions why is he not allowed?. But if you do watch TV at home, make sure to lead with a good example. Show restraint in front of children, they will also learn and will show restraint when asked for.

All kids are different. There are different things and different concept that would work with them. This has worked with my child but it may not work with yours.Also I am a stay at home mother; so its easier for me to look after small things. It may be difficult for a working mother.

 But I do urge every parent to keep trying. There are always ways and concepts that would eventually work with your child. Just telling them no and expecting them to follow may not work everytime. I believe we should strive for a balance between being strict and being creative.

Things that can be handled in a creative way; may look difficult in the starting but with a routine it gets easier and saves a lot of headache later.