Dear Old Man

Dear Old Man,

Torn faded clothes, full of mud and dust

If I saw you elsewhere, I may have looked away in disgust

But that day I needed you

You were my last hope

For a second I resisted

I didn’t even look at you directly

You did all the talking, and

Didn’t even try to bargain

I was ready with my speech

But I suddenly realised

There is no need

You agreed for the bare minimum

Just then I noticed the smile

Red, white and yellow

But still so honest and warm

Not for a second,

I could look away

Where did the ugliness go?

I didn’t know

Just then I noticed your voice

Oh so mellow and full of wise

The warmth filled my core

And made me glow

I forgot the suffering

And went with the flow

You did your job

Job that needed no talking

Work that needed no personal touch

I extended the money, but

You folded your hands and refused to take it

That second you were richer, than

the richest person on earth

You came forward

Extending your hand towards my head

A gesture to pass on blessings

I nodded with tears in my eyes

I didn’t know why I cried

Only thing I knew was

Just then I was the richest person on earth

Just then I had met my angel

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I was 9 months pregnant and was supposed to travel to my parents’ place. I was heavy and due to various reasons I could barely walk. We reached the station late and at the last moment our train had changed tracks. We were to cross over to the other side of the station, through a foot over bridge but it was impossible for me to do so. The only other way was to cross over through the tracks at the back but the distance was too long for me to walk. We needed a wheel chair. It was late in the night and there was no one around to help us find a wheel chair. Suddenly an old man appeared with a wheel chair who agreed to help us. We discussed the money and he readily agreed to what we offered. I agreed to go with him alone through the other side, since my husband had to carry the entire luggage; we decided he would cross over through the bridge.  It has been almost 6 years but I still remember his face. I was scared of him initially. But within a few seconds he started talking and I was at ease completely. We crossed the track and I didn’t even realise. I said thank you to him and took out the money to give him. Not only did he refuse to take the money but he also extended his hands and with a very gentle voice blessed me. Even before I could say anything, he left. After a few months, my husband went back to the station to look for him. He wanted to pay him his dues. But no one had heard of him or seen him there ever. It was like he never existed. Many may not believe me (like my husband) but I know he was my angel. He was my Govind.

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I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The 6th in the list is a letter to "A Stranger"

Dear Dreams

Dear Dreams

You have a life of your own

There are multiple me living somewhere

With lovers and alone

Remember the time,

You let me fall, in the deep dark ditch

Naked and broken

My pieces falling and

Talking to each other

Each is a me

Crying and weeping

For everything lost

Everything died

Remember the time

You let me fly

High up over the mountains

Sitting on a feather

Through the most gentle breeze

Singing lullaby

To every passerby

Who were they?

Why were they flying with me?

All pink and blue

All nice and new

Full of life

Remember the time

When you went from flying,to

dying in a split second

Then getting up

And talking to me

Asking me to get up

Telling me it is just a dream

I got up talking to you

Who is one more me

Leaving a dying me behind

Holding your hand

When you pushed me again

In the deep ditch

And I started breaking in pieces

Even before I could reach the dark

Each me trying to get up from the dream

And each me failing

Each me falling

Remember the time

One of us survived

And got up from the dream?

Yes that’s me

I always survive you

Come back, live, and

Test you again

(C) Juztamom

I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The 5th in the list is a letter to ‘Your dreams’

War On Children

painted deep red

eyes locked in the future

I barely lived

Image credit here

Posted for Susan’s Midweek Motif ~Hiroshima or Ring a Bell @ Poets United

Dear Sis

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Dear Sis,

I picked a pen to write something to you

I opened my notebook to say something to you

But I failed miserably

How do I talk sense?

How do I be sensible?

When it comes to you

I am the silly,

You are the grounded

I am the hyper

You are the ground

You are my child,

You are my mom

I am the tide

You are my calm

I have wings

And you taught me how to fly

I wouldn't have lived

As much as I do

If it was not for you

I wouldn't have loved

As much as I do

If it was not for you

I wouldn't have survived

I wouldn't have thrived

If it was not for you

I am what I am

Because you are what you are

I don’t know how to write a letter to you

I don’t know how to tell anything to you

Because you always know

I don’t have to write

I don’t have to say

 

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I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The 4th in the list is a letter to ‘Your siblings’

Dear Ma

Dear Ma,

I am writing this letter to you, to tell you that I am free, finally. It took me decades to reach here but I did.

Just to clarify, I have no complaints (big) from you as a mother. You did your best; you had limited resources, no support and I understand that. You literally raised us single handily. But growing up I do not remember a time when I was not aware of your physical limitations. Initial few years of my life, I detested the handicap. I wanted my life to be normal like others but it wasn't. I don’t know when I started owning the handicap. I don’t remember when your physical limitation became my mental block and I started living in my limited world. I never thought I had a life. Your life was my life and your story was my story. I decided to live your story and your pains. All my losses were a reflection of my failure as a daughter and all my victories were just stepping stones for a better life for you.

I don’t know when my life became an apology for your life.

Only thing I remember is not enjoying anything; always working ten times harder than anyone else around me. Only thing in my mind was to make your life better somehow. It may sound strange that a child was working hard for her parent’s future but that was my reality. A reality I never questioned.

I don’t think it was your fault. I don’t think you even realised what I was doing. I don’t think you wanted it like that but I was like that for years and you never did anything about it.

I still remember the day, when for the first time I enjoyed just being on my own and laughing out loud. And I also remember the wave of guilt that came over me in the next few seconds. I ran home and sat next you crying for hours, feeling like I have committed a crime. That incident made sure I remain in my shell for many more years to come.

It took me years to realise that it is okay to be just happy, for no reason, just because you don’t want to be unhappy. I still remember when it happened. It just happened. I was just too happy and my heart refused to be sad. The laughter started from somewhere deep in my gut. I could feel it rising and travelling through my veins, bursting through my pores, reaching my heart and finally releasing me from my prison of thoughts.

I never went back to my old self. It took me years but I gradually found my own path, which of course was inter connected with yours but it was not the same. It was my path. It was my story. It was my life.

It was liberating, to just live. I didn’t know life like this earlier. May be that’s why I live each and every second of my life now. I have so much to do, so many years to make up to, so many emotions still to feel and live. Every second matters. I laugh and cry like there is no tomorrow. I am free, just like you are. You will always have me. But I will not live your life.

I am me, no more an apology of you, just me and being me is great!

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I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The 3rd in the list is a letter to ‘Your Parents’