Share The Load

When I look around I find most women over worked, doesn’t matter if they have a career or they stay at home. But I hear almost everyone complain about how hectic their lives are. Some go to an extent and even say that their husbands have it easier, so much easier. Men just have to come from office and their work is over. That is what always makes me uncomfortable. Women work through the day too (either in office or at home), then why don’t they relax when they reach home? Why is it that their work is not over at day end?

I saw this advertisement on social media and instantly liked it. As parents we are empowering our daughters but are we also setting an example for them? Are we setting gender neutral examples at home? Children learn the most by observing. Are we good examples for our children?

I see so many educated women around me, trying to give good education to their daughters, teaching them equality; wishing wings for their daughters but is that enough? Is it enough to know I can be whatever I want when I will grow up; that I am no less than a man, when I am subconsciously believing that the housework is primarily mine, or even if I have a career outside my house, I will be the one taking care of everything in the house? Why? Because that’s what my mother does at home!

Is it enough if we teach our boys, girls are equal to you; there is nothing that girls can’t do; you shouldn’t judge a person’s efficiency by their gender etc , when subconsciously they are believing that when a man comes back from office, he takes a break while the woman runs around finishing all the chores! Where is the equality in this system?

Children learn more from observing! They are like sponge; everyday is a new learning for them. They take subtle clues; they pick nuisances from their parents. It is time we step back and think, are we a good example of gender equality? Do we practice it at home? If not, it is time the changes are made. It is time we lead as example, so the coming generation is free from gender bias of any kind.

It is time the household chores are divided basis availability and efficiency and not gender. Let’s start this from today. Let’s be a good example for our kids!

The JNU debate- What Is Democracy?

In a general sense democracy is freedom, right? So If we are in a democratic country, we are free. We are free to live where we want, free to take the job we want, study what we want, follow the religion we want and we are free to speak our mind. There are no if-s and but-s in freedom. If you are free, you are free. There are no conditions apply.

Dissent is the backbone of freedom I would say. If we can’t disagree, if we can’t stand against something we find wrong, if we can’t questions laws, if we can’t shout at the system, are we truly free?

In my mind a strong democracy is based on free flowing opinions. If a democracy can’t stand opposing views, by definition does it still remain a democracy? If I stand against the system, do I become anti-national? What does my disagreeing with any system, any law or any decision has to do with my love for my country. It still remains my country. I still love it. Do we never disagree with our parents? Have we never spoken against our parents? Have we never walked out of a room following a disagreement with our parents? Or even with our friends, or anyone else? Does it mean we don’t love them? Does it mean we don’t understand what sacrifices they have made for us? Does it mean we don’t want to live in the same house? Does it mean we don’t cherish the relationship? No it doesn’t!

Then why when we express dissent against any decision by law, we automatically are labelled as anti-national? Then why if we stand merely for freedom of speech, we are told we are not patriotic enough?

I love my country. I am a concerned citizen. I know my rights and my duties (At least some part of it). I am thankful for the freedom my constitution and law provides me. And I still don’t agree with so many things happening in India. I will question it and I will fight for my right to question and as a matter of fact, I stand by anyone’s right to speak. So I stand by JNU when it comes to freedom of speech. They have the right to question and show dissent. By questioning a decision, they don’t become anti-nationals and neither do I, by simply being on their side.

But I also believe there is a line which is drawn by every individual even when exercising their democratic rights. I believe Afzal Guru was a terrorist and whatever happened was right. I don’t care if his family couldn’t meet him. I don’t care if he was made a scape goat. I just don’t care! I care about the innocent lives lost. I care about what the attacks did to my country. This is where I draw the line. If the person standing against me still calls him a martyr, I will get angry. I will be furious. BUT I will walk out of the discussion. Why? Because my opinion is based on my experiences in life and I believe anyone else’s opinion would also be based on their experiences, which will be different than mine. I don’t think opinions are driven only through religion. I will always give anyone benefit of doubt; at the least I won’t question their love for their country just because of one opinion or their religion. Why is it so difficult to understand and follow?

India is a country of Indians, not hindu, not muslim, not any religion. If we are Indian citizens, we have the same rights. We belong to the tri-color, not to saffron, not to green!

Note of caution: This is my opinion about the issue. Readers are welcome to share their opinions but I have low tolerance for rudeness. Please be polite! Thank you

Read more about the JNU controversy here