Thursday 18 February 2016

Never Too Late!

Getting to a place of comfort can be uncomfortable who would have known, thought Rashmi. It was the same place where her life had started some 40 years back. The memory was quite vivid in her mind even after so many years. She had worn a red sari as customary even for a church wedding. She had told her mom that she hated sarees and wanted to wear a blue dress. Sarees had never been her thing. She had always been in love with long fitted dresses. How pretty her friend Cherry had looked at her wedding she had thought. But obviously who would have listened to an 18 year old then. She had worn the red saree and the heavy makeup, against her wish. She was told what to do and she had done it. Everything had gone as planned. She didn’t even remember looking at Prateek during the whole wedding ritual. It was not important. Where she was looking was important. She was told to look down, so she had looked down. When she was leaving her parents house, she was told by her mom to follow her husband’s orders like she had followed her parents’. She was told that the house she had grown up was not hers anymore. She had soaked up every word like a sponge.
That is what she had believed for next 22 years. She had a good marriage. She had followed Prateek like a shadow; hardly ever did she speak up. They had a picture perfect family, till the day of the accident. Prateek was crossing the road when the truck came from the wrong side. He had no chance. He had left behind a successful business and two kids who were living abroad. They had come and left within a few days.
Suddenly Rashmi was all alone for the first time in her life. She was 40 years old and she had never stepped out of her house alone. It was a tough fight after that. She took her time. Of course she was scared. Everything was new but everything was exciting. She took charge of the business. People around her were surprised at her business acumen. Within a few years the business was making more profits than ever before. She had wings. She was flying. And that’s how she met Raman. He was working with one of the competitors. They met during one of the pitches. She immediately liked him and had her HR poach him to her company. This was some 12 years back. They had been working together since then. She didn’t remember exactly when she fell for him, especially because he was 11 years her junior. Only thing she was sure was that they were perfect together; like two pieces of a puzzle who belonged together.
And after living together for a decade they had decided to take the leap of faith. Now she was standing at the altar, waiting for her cue. Soft breeze was blowing; it felt like heaven was singing for her. The white of orchid around her was filling her with a sense of tranquillity she had never felt before. Her fitted, long, blue dress was something she had fallen in love with at the first sight. It was just right. Everything was just right. It didn’t matter if her children were against her decision. They were living their lives and she was living hers. It didn’t matter if more people were against it than in favour of it. It didn’t matter that she was 58. Nothing mattered except what she felt in her heart. She knew this was just the first day of the rest of her life. And suddenly the church band started playing “here comes the bride....”
This was her cue. Her cue to get busy living or get busy dying!
 

Monday 18 January 2016

A Homework For Every Parent


Every day of my life as a parent starts with a long list of things that my kids are supposed to do and don’t do. The thing that tops the list most of the time is homework. We can’t ignore the homework. It has to be done. Few days back my elder one who is in second grade and who likes to question everything before adhering to it, asked me “Mom, why are we supposed to do the homework? Why is it important?” I was taken aback. I had never thought about it. We were given homework and we did it. Of course, the key was that we were learning from it but that we do even in school, so why homework?

It took me some time but I realised why we must do the homework. I sat down with him and explained, “We must do our homework because it is a part of the overall learning. Learning doesn’t end in classroom, it is a continuous process. Homework prepares us for the exam. If we don’t do it, how will we revise everything that we have learnt, how will we be prepared for the final exam? “

Thankfully my son understood it and went to study, but as usual he was back with his next question. He asked, “Mom, do you also do your homework? What is your homework? When is your exam?”

By the time he had finished asking his questions, I had already lost my patience and I told him I will tell him in detail later. But his questions had gotten me to think. What is my exam? When are my exams? Am I prepared for them?

Just as I was mulling over these questions, a new campaign from Axis MF caught my attention. Some of my friends were talking about it, so I went online and checked it. It gave me the answer immediately. What can be the biggest exam of a parent? It will be when my children grow up and they step outside the comfort of our home. They will take on the world. It will be my responsibility to fulfil their aspirations, to plan a better future for them. Am I ready for that?

 I don’t know if I am, and I don’t know if I will ever be, but it is my job to make the process as smooth and as hindrance free as possible. When my kids grow up, they should have the ability and grit to choose what they want to do. Nothing should stop them. This will be my exam and I have to be prepared for it. I have to do my homework, just like my son. And one of the first subjects is financial planning. I will start by evaluating Axis MF’s campaign since they gave me the idea.


And I urge every parent to get out of their comfort zones. Start communicating with your children, understand their aspirations and start planning towards it. It is the need of the hour. You have to start preparing now, for your children’s future. You have to do your homework.