India leads with Highest Maternal and First day Infant Deaths

“Giving birth should be your greatest achievement not your greatest fear.” ~ Jane Weideman

Chances that a mother and baby will survive their first day is lowest in India. India has shown impressive economic growth in last few decades but any growth is inadequate if we do not protect the most vulnerable citizen of the country “pregnant women and the newborns”....Read my full post here:

http://bestcurrentaffairsquestions.blogspot.in/2013/05/india-leads-with-highest-maternal-and-first-day-infant-deaths.html

Super Woman- Super Myth!!

Why is Superman a fictional character and Superwoman an urban reality? 

Why do women have to keep all of it together “Manage home, Manage office, Manage kids, Manage husband and Manage relatives and still have a life??? 

If you miss even one from the above list you are not successful and god forbid if u move down the ladder, from doing everything, to doing just a few things. You don’t exist. 

Yes it is right that men don’t have to chose, that men have it all...why?? Because they are married to super woman! 

Well superwoman doesn’t exist..its a myth. Apologies for breaking the bubble but its true. Women who are labelled as superwoman is a breed of overly burdened, overly tired dead women walking around...shouldering all responsibilities. 

No human being can multitask so much and still have a life, ask any “super woman” you know. 

Super woman is a phenomenon created by men. It is a myth that gives all the power to men and all the responsibilities to women. 

Behind every super woman is a lot of heart breaks, marathons, missed birthday partys, missed deadlines, sulky kids and bulky husbands!! 

For some being a superwoman is bestowed upon like a medal because all women they know do it, some do it for the passion of a lot of things, some do it to impress others, some just for the sake of it but I would request all super women to pleaseeee stop, take a break, take a breath, slow down.... 

Sit, have a sip of coffee, have a glass of red...and think of what really is important to you. 

Men are not answerable to anyone for having it all or not having anything, they are not apologetic, and neither should you be. Get out of the guilt trip, drop some items from the superwoman list. 

There is no need to have it all, you can let go. No one is judging you, yes no one is...because anyone who taunts you for leaving career for kids, leaving kids at daycare for office etc etc, is a no one, or should be a no one. 

You have every right to be a normal happy person. You have the right to just sit and not do it all or not do most of it. 

You have the right to be just a normal person!!

"A normal special day"

"A special photograph of a normal day"

It is special because it exudes normalcy. A rare moment which will never come back, a moment which will remain etched in my memory forever.

It is one of the last photographs of me and my first born alone (Yess look closely i am there in the background). 

It was from the last few days when we were just us. A normal mother and son “Duo””(This photograph was taken just before we conceived our second baby)

It was a day of his demands, his babyness, his running around the house creating ruckus, a day of non sensical chatter.

The toy that he is holding... reminds me of our endless hours of innocent plays (we kicked it, rode it and yes ultimately killed it).

His bike reminds me how he refused to learn to ride it and it remained his push toy forever.

The T Shirt he is wearing reminds me how easily I could put him in pink then.

His hairstyle reminds me how for hours i would painstakingly turn him into a girl.

His smile reminds me of the innocence and all the naughtiness that was about to come.

Our Duo has now given way to the “Trio”

His demands and tantrums of being the only child have given way to subtlety and understanding of a big brother.

I knew with the third member it will change and may be become more special. But I can’t help but miss our regular duo days.

If I knew the naughty demanding child will so easily slip into a grown up big bro I would have held on to the time more strongly.

I am not complaining but sometimes rather every time I look at this snap it reminds me of the time when it was just him and me.

"I miss that normal special alone day with him" 


PS: BlogwatiG, to answer the question "Why would he'd be a perfect royal baby?"

Well because he is a royalty's son!! Duh!!!

This post is shared with Indblogeshwari’s “That Tuesday thingy Fourth”

Also this post is my entry for the 'One Picture From My Photo Album' contest conducted by My Yatra Diary and CupoNation. 

What would have happened to Romeo Juliet if they were eventually married???????

Answer is they would become us…fighting over baby diapers, feeds and burps…

Where is the passion, intensity, need to be with each other all the time? Now why do we just want to be alone for sometime…or be with friends and not think of married life, baby and duties for sometime.

Love changes forms, it growss, there are times when you would feel that its almost invisible

Does marriage kills love?

I think no..it kills romance out of love.

Love is still there, infact its more deep rooted than before but it changes forms, it grows from an overt expression to a wink in public, a hug in two days, holding hands before going to sleep or may be having the liberty to just yell at each other when tired, or just being alone for sometime….this all is love

From romantic poems to baby lullabies, from spooning to sleeping unconscious on each side of bed…from talking thousand times at length to just saying hello twice a day…from laughing uncontrollably to smiling at each other on baby’s antics….from wanting to be together all the time to happy with just the thought of you being around….from insecurity of relationship to complete security of togetherness…This all is love!!!!!!!!!!!

My "Top 16 Mommy Qualms"

Here is a list of some awesomely awful things i never expected from being a mom...somehow i was almost as clueless second time around as first:

1. Kids have brains...really , they do.,even infants.....God why??????
2. Somehow they know when i am in the loo....every time...every single time (I think we should potty train moms---really..sync your loo time with Sundays only J..aah and if IPL is on...even that may not work)
3. They can smell clean dress on mommy.....and i know a bulb goes off in the head...tinggg how come mom looks clean!!!!!!
4.  They wait for u to change diapers and bang.....boom....everytime in the fresh diaper....
5. Everything...that someone else’s mom cooks is their favourite....

“Let them be” Not or “Let them be”- with Conditions apply

I keep reading and keep getting this advice from a lot of mothers that the best way to grow up a kid is to let him be, to let him learn from his mistakes..

I also believe that its important that he grows up to be an independent and a strong individual. That he knows how to take a decision and accepts its consequences but then where does my role as a parent comes???

I believe you cannot let them be completely. There should be a balance infact the balance has to be tilted towards parental control in the first few years of a child’s life and then maybe later it can be equally divided...till he moves out......:-)

But how to achieve this balance?

The key is to decide basis the age and individuality of child which decisions the child is old enough to take and where you need to step in?

Here's how i have somehow managed to handle the situation where the kid is a strong individual and does things his way but there are a few things which I decide and he needs to follow strictly. I do make it a point to explain to him again and again reasons for things that I ask him to do.

Obviously there are hiccups,situations which end up in tantrums, crys, yells etc etc. But the more seriously i follow the list, the more easy it has become with each day.

Build memories

As a parent it is very important for me that my kids grow up with a bag full of joyful memories.
Stories driven by them, lifes sculpted around them, hours and hours dedicated to them...magical journey called " Growing up!!!!!"
Everyday when they get up they should be filled with hope and anticipation about the day to come. My house should scream of laughs, happiness,noise, dance and music and hence mess and fingerprints all around.
This i want to follow as much as i can and as long as i can. Ofcourse I know this may not work everytime, there will be very good days, good days and not so good days but any day should have some elements of love, magic and laughter to it, doesn't matter how off the day was.

Oh yes i already have had my share of "not soo good" exhausting and tiring days. Both boys falling sick together, both boys and mum falling sick, kids snapping @ each other (hitting not allowed, understood thoroughly by no.1),non stop cuts, bruises, runny noses, bangss, booms etc etc but then comes the "Tadaa moments". Both of them laughing together (mind u no.1 is 4 yrs and no.2 is 10 months), playing together, No.1 scolding me for being rude to his baby (no.2), wet kisses from runny noses, endless hugs out of nowhere,being told again and again how much i am loved...list goes on and on....

Project @ home

Staying @ home-not working after having kids should be the most difficult decision anyone has to take.This blog is how I became "Juz Mom" after working for 7 long years and after a flourishing and fulfilling career.

I was a working mom for the first 2 years of my elder sons life.And then I decided to"Quit".--take a break--a sabbatical -- not work in office for sometime.

What led to the decision were a lot of different factors- largely more personal and selfish reasons than my son.
And I had quit. From that "Quit this job day" to now my life has completely changed.
I started out as a very strong individual. Wanting my space, my freedom, my me time, loving me also along with my son. The break was meant to be for me also. Dont get me wrong I did love my son to death but when the @ home project started the idea was not only to spend time with my kid but also to spend time doing things that i enjoy (alone!!!!!!!!!!)

But down the line- more than 2 years later, Here I am - sitting in a stained night dress, smelling of food, milk, baby powder and Love!!!!!!!

I dont know what happened, when did my "@ home project" became "Juztamom project" But:-

• Am I complaining- "absolutely not"
• Am I Happy- :Blissfully happy and content"
• Do I miss office- "Oh hell yessssssss"
• Do I miss it enough to go back-"Oh hell noooooooooooooo"

My life right now is my kids. I am shamelessly in love with them. Yes there are days when i feel trapped, harrassed, hassled , short of breath and (all other similar adjectives). There are days when I want to run to jungle and take Sanyaas. But you know what i felt same when i was working also. What is different is when i was in office and felt suffocated I never wanted to go back. But now when i feel suffocated...I still want to be in the same space, not by guilt or duty but by sheer love for my kids.