Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts

Tuesday 4 June 2013

Letters to future

Smriti was waiting patiently, it was her 25th birthday, Vikas has thrown her a surprise party and all her friends were there but her heart was not there. Amrita had called in the morning, after so many years but Smriti recognised her voice in a second, how could she not?


She had grown up with her, they practically were twins for first 18 yrs of their life before Smiriti left Bhopal for Mumbai and after that they gradually lost touch. Smiriti had infact forgotten about her...completely.

Amrita’s call in the morning brought back a lot of happy memories. Memories of fun,  fights, laughters and love and amongst those were a memory of her 15th birthday.

Memory of a pact...memory of a letter written 10 years back.

Photo by Ramas Gecas
Amrita had called to tell her that she has posted her letter last week and Smiriti should have gotten the letter by now.

In her heart Smiriti knew that she would be getting the letter anytime now. This thought was giving her chills.

This was a letter from 15 year old Smiriti to 25 year old Smiriti. It was a pact between two best friends to chalk out a future plan for their life....

She vaguely remembered writing the letter, with a lot of hope and excitement. She really hoped that she has not disappointed 15 yr old Smriti.

The bell rang and the letter had found her way to Smiriti’s house.She excused herself from the party and tentatively opened the letter.

“Hey Me!!...congrats you are 25 year old today and this is what I think you are as a 25 year old young lady
You have finished your education and are employed somewhere
You are under 50 kgs of weight, have no braces and can be called “Hot”
Not living in Bhopal
Not living with parents
Have a boyfriend/prospective husband
Have travelled to atleast one continent
I want to add a lot more to the list but I know you would still be a mortal soul at 25 yrs...so this should be enough 
PS: If by any chance you have not achieved anything or everything from the above list and you still live here with Ma Baba...You dork!!!!!!!! I still love you and I am sure you would have achieved the most important thing by now.
You are “Happy and content” with whatever you are, and I am proud of you!!!”

Smriti was really surprised after reading the letter, even at 15 years of young age, she had the wisdom to foresee a really simple and uncomplicated life. 

And she was relieved that she had fulfilled almost all the wishes on her list (she was an MBA, quite good looking, working for one of the best business houses in India, was married last month and there is one extra little surprise to look forward to) but above all she was very happy and content with her life.

She immediately called Amrita to tell her that she will keep the pact and write a letter to 35 year old Smriti and will mail it to Amrita soon.

Ten years down the line.....

Smriti had just finished a very important meeting and had clenched a client from competition’s jaws. There was celebration in office, people were shouting her name, there was a long queue of colleagues waiting to congratulate her, to shake her hands but Smriti knew all these will go back and openly speculate about her success in the company...each and every one of them. She had moved up...reached a rank in the organisation that others only dreamt of..

Smriti knew she had climbed the success ladder directly or indirectly stepping on all their dreams but she didn’t care. She had no friends but she didn’t care. She is living the dream of any middle class girl from a small town.

Suddenly she realised her cellphone was ringing. She thought it has to be some stupid client at this unearthly hour...it was a familiar number. She strained her eyes and her memory, what is this number? Ohh its from Bhopal...May be Ma was finally calling her back.

She hurriedly picked up the phone and was shocked to hear the voice on the other end. It was Amrita, calling her to wish her a happy birthday and to inform her that her letter had reached her home address.

Smiriti with a lot of difficulty mumbled a thank you and kept the phone down. All her old memories came rushing back, they were pushing the old vulnerable Smriti to come out. She couldn’t take it anymore and ran from the office not caring for the gaping eyes at her face...Why is her face wet? Why can’t she see properly? Is it raining? Oh god she couldn’t believe it she was crying. After years she was crying and she thought that her tears had dried up after Vikas left her 3 years back.

She reached home and the letter was at the door waiting for her.She took a deep breath and realized she will have to open the letter and read it, for her own sanity.

“Hey Mumma...wish you a very happy 35th birthday...
I know you are a very happy and doting mom (I sincerely hope it would be 2 kids by now)
I hope you have a very successful career
Vikas has managed to break even in his business and is earning profits now
You are under 60 kgs
And a yum mum (You know what i mean!!!)
PS: It’s ok if you do not have a successful career I have heard it can be difficult to manage both career and kids. I am very proud of you and I know you are still happy and content”

With the letter the world came crashing down around Smriti, she remembered when she was writing this letter she had just realised she was expecting.....

The old painful memories were coming back "How she was offered a very lucrative offer in US immediately after her 25th birthday with a condition to join immediately, how she decided to terminate the pregnancy without telling Vikas...she remembered his hurt face when he came to know about it"

And post that they just drifted apart but she never realised how drastically things were changing.

She remember the day 4 years back, her doctor told them that it will be very difficult for them to conceive if they waited any longer. This was the first warning sign...

Vikas wanted to try right away and was willing to throw away anything for it. He begged and reminded her how much she wanted a kid when they first got married. But she thought she was still young (Though in her heart she knew may be her body was saying something else but she pushed the feeling down) and accepted her next project.

Her body kept telling her to slow down, warning her that there was something wrong, something is dying inside, something is changing forever but she kept ignoring and burying the voice down.

Finally 3 years back she decided to do the tests.....her worst fears came true. Her body had given up, the chances of them conceiving was very rare. 

By that time Vikas and her marriage was already on the rocks and this proved to be the last straw.

Smiriti was holding the letter and crying inconsolably. How did she reach where she was?She has not only distanced herself from anyone who loved her but she has also distanced herself from everything she loved and ever wanted from her life. She has disappointed even her 25 year old self

There were so many warning signs...she knew in her heart something was wrong. The reminder was there...days after days, months after months. Why did she not see those warning signs?? Rather why did she see the warning signs and still ignore them?

Then suddenly she realised the warning signs are still there and now she will do something about them. Smriti forced herself to get up and made a promise to herself 

"She will sculpt a better life for the 45 year old Smriti"


This post has been written as an entry for Colgate Total’s ‘The Moral of the Story is…!’competition on IndiBlogger. Find out more at My Healthy Speak Blog

Saturday 1 June 2013

Raise yourself.....to stop raised hands





“Thad” came the sound and Vipul came running out of his room....alas his worst fears came true. His Ma was on the floor and Baba was pouncing on her again. For a 10 year old this was too much to bear every night.
He thought to himself "No I cannot let this happen to Ma again and again...how will I be able to look at my own face after looking at the blues and bruises of Ma’s", so inspite of repeated warnings of his dad he budged in and held his dad's hand...tightly....very tightly...with all the strength of a 10 yr old....

“Thad”...came a sound again and...again...and a physical impact which was enough to throw Vipul down on the ground.

It was not from his dad but from his mom...with a scream “How can you hold your dad’s hands and threaten him....he is a man....man of the house...my husband, your dad...he can do whatever he wants....”

22 years down the line, same household...same sounds...Thad...Fhat....thad!!!

Vipul was violently pouncing on his wife in front of his parents....and no one stopped him. People passing by the house could hear the slaughter but no one cared to even stop, this was normal, every day occurring.

(Legacy continues!!)

In the same house eight year old Ajay and ten year old Asha were looking from the corner.....
Asha " Ajay it will be alright. Don't worry, Ma said it is ok"
Ajay "No this is not right.....how can this be okay? Why should Baba beat up Ma just because he is a man?? Don't you remember what Teacher didi said? Man and woman are equal and no man should raise his hand on a woman. Teacher di is right....this is wrong and we will fight against it"

Ajay and Asha jumped to their mom’s rescue, in process got beaten up themselves several times but with each beating their values against violence became more and more strong....(with constant counselling and support of teacher didi)

(Correct Education had pierced through the thick walls of this house....Now change was inevitable)

Few more years down the line...

Same house but it exudes happiness and glow. People passing by can still hear noise but the noise is from kids playing, laughing. The deafening sound of kids running towards him, the smile and twinkle in his wife’s eyes when he enters the house  makes each day worth living for Ajay.......The change has happened...

This is a happy home....full of love, care, laughters and bliss.....Amay and Kriti both know how much Ma and Baba love each other and love both of them....(equally)

And in a neighboring town, Asha was in the kitchen hurriedly finishing up cooking. She has to help Puja (her 8 year old daughter) with her studies and complete her office project file also. Her husband was out of station.She heard loud noises from her neighbors house,fearing the worst she ran towards the house and saw the husband raising his hand to hit his wife and kids....

Thad....thad!!!

The sound was from the wife, raising her hand to stop the blow and shutting the door after leaving the house.

Asha took a deep breath...a relieved breath. Her conversation with the neighbor has had some impact. Finally she realized it was not right and stood up against the violence

(Legacy of education and righteousness will continue)..

This was a fictional story...to depict the existence and reason behind existence of domestic violence in our country.

Yes...the abuser is mostly man of the house but Is the man really responsible for this behaviour?

NO!!

Women are responsible....responsible for thinking getting beaten up by their husbands is okay and they impart the same education to their sons and daughters...who in turn would become the abuser and abusee....

It’s high time we realize that we need to change our social system based on gender bias. It is high time that we intervene through correct education and create a parallel system based on gender equality.

We do not need to educate only men...ofcourse we should talk to men also but the primary education needs to be provided to the woman and children of the house.

A woman should be educated and counselled about all the legal rights she has. Rights not against men but rights similar and equal to men...and she should be encouraged to pass on and share this knowledge with her children.

And all children compulsorily should be educated about gender equality at school. There should be programs specially designed for this starting at an early age of 5-6 years..

And last but not the least it is a responsibility of each and every parent to educate and practice gender equality at home.......same rules, same rights and same punishments for both boys and girls.

This will be more difficult for parents of boys (Yes boys not girls) because it is easy to teach any capable girl that you are capable no matter what anyone says....but it will be far more difficult to teach boys that you are capable only basis your efficiency and not because of your gender......

Let’s bring it out in open, bring it in our households...let’s take an initiative and talk about it with our kids today and on every possible occasion in future....

Let’s make homes safer for women 

This post is written with a focus on domestic violence, as a part of the initiative “Ring the bell for Indi Change” propelled by www.bellbajao.org

Image courtsey Voicesfordignity.com

Thursday 30 May 2013

"Awesome Himachal"


“Awesome” One word to describe my days spent in Himachal though I covered a very small portion of the beautiful state in a very short time, I am in love with its natural beauty and can’t wait to go back again and explore it in more details.

It was magical, serene, alive, idyllic and a land of smiles.....I have never seen people so happy and chirpy everywhere I looked. What made it more special was, it was the first place we ever visited as a family of 4, yes!!! My own family of 4 :-)

If I really want to write about my trip to my heart’s content, I would have to start a new blog dedicated to it...so I have decided to sum it up in few things that I would love to share with everyone.

Here we go, highlights of my trip:

Our stay: After a lot of research and considerations to a lot of things we finalised on 2 places to stay. The first one was “Bird and Chirps” a home stay about 2 kms out of Dalhousie  The place is not only amazing; it is a breath taking property. You have one of the best views of the valley from any room. We decided to try a home stay because we were travelling with 2 small kids and we wanted comfort of home away from home. We were not disappointed at all. The hospitality of the owners was par excellence, from one amazing meal after another, to looking after the kids while we were eating, to sending milk for kids daily without fail-without even asked for it, to all the guests eating together, to the host waiting for the last guest to eat.....it was true personification of the saying “Athiti devo bhava”.

From there we moved to Mc leodgunj, to a fully commercial hotel. At Mc leodgunj we were looking for some privacy and wanted to spend the last 2 days just idling away but we didn’t want to miss the amazing views of the valley. Our hotel “Triund” gave us all. From a warm and friendly staff, to an amazing view and good food, we loved everything about the place.



View from our room @ Dalhousie

View @ Mc Leodgunj


Excursions: 
We made a conscious decision to not travel to Himachal during snow, because of a lot of reasons like both the kids are too small to remember snow later, and both are highly susceptible to cold....etc etc

This gave us an opportunity to travel to a lot of places around Dalhousie and Dharamshala which are normally closed down because of snow. A snapshot of it is posted below


Kalatop @ Dalhousie

Mc Leodgunj

Mc Leodgunj

Dharamshala
Dharamshala stadium


The inseparables
Both our kids though were very friendly at home but I never did notice how close they are. This can be because I am always around them and it’s mostly three of us together. During the trip I realized how much both of them are dependent on each other. My younger one who was only about 11 months refused to be without his brother even for 1 minute, he wanted to do everything that the elder one was doing (Witness below) and was not ready to leave him even for a minute. Their interaction and love for each other was heart warming.
My life

My life

Lookkkkkk below the table!!!!!!!!!!!

My life

The people
One of the memories for me will always be happy and talkative people. The simplicity and naivety of them was heart melting. Here I would like to mention the members of both the places where we stayed. At Mcloedgunj our elder son fell sick and the staff of “The Triund” were so sweet and caring towards him.....because of their compassionate behaviour even the illness didn’t bring down our spirits...
Our taxi guy

Sweet kid

The shy guide who refused to look at camera

Our taxi guy
The post will not be complete without a special mention of our taxi guy..”Deep baba”. He is a 65 year old guy who has one of the sweetest voice and claims that he knows almost everything about everything (which he doesn’t :-)). He even claimed he knew Ambanis :-) and owns a bunglow ..but what made him special was his spirit to work even at his age, his innumerable memories about the region and his love for people around him.


His bunglow  :-) (His photo is shared above)

In addition to this following are a few snapshots to sum up my wonderful experience at Himachal..


My Family

No.1

No. 1


Muscles!!!

Mastiiiiii



Tuesday 28 May 2013

Fun and Learn games for Kids

Few more fun and learn indoor kids games focused on comprehensive language learning. (Those who are new please read FUN AND LEARN)

 




As I explained earlier it is advisable to laminate all the cue cards and these can be used again and again later.

Sunday 26 May 2013

Did she cheat?


With a trembled voice and gloom in her eyes

She entered the room pale and blank
A look at the paper and her heart sank

Blood rushing through her veins
Sweat pooling through her manes

The paper was black and white
The numbers, mocking at her plight

Hands clenched tightly on a torn piece of paper
It was her lifeline
One look at it, she will be fine

If she excels their dreams will fly
If she cheats her’s will die....

Results are out today, she has passed but her home wears an abandoned gaze,

She has passed, passed on
To a better world devoid of them and their expectations

Photo credit chriskoehler.deviantart.com

The details of the contest can be found here

Wednesday 15 May 2013

Travel tips for kids



This summer we will be taking our first family vacation. All four of us together for the first time!!!!!!. We have been on a few trips before but nothing that required so much travelling or staying out of home for more than a day with 2 kids. So keeping this in mind I started planning for it months in advance to avoid the stress at the last moment. Following is a list of few things that have helped me in last few years and that I have incorporated for this trip also.

1. Research and organise (a lottt). If you are travelling to a new place or a touristy destination research the place well in advance. Figure out if the place has any child/kids attraction (Relevant to your kid’s age). Research the hotel that you are planning to stay in. Make sure to talk to the hotel representative and clarify the age of kids travelling with you and any specifications like extra bed, hygiene, accessibility etc. If possible carry a list of tourist attractions of the place (it lessens the headache later)

2. Talk to your kids: If your kid is 3 or more it makes sense to mentally prepare them about the upcoming trip. I started a month ago and explained again and again that we will be travelling continuously and we will not be at home for a lot of days. You can even play games around the travel to make it easier for them and for you later

3. Medicines: I have a master-list of medicines that I carry with me whenever I travel. Though it was pain making it the first time but it has worked like magic. It was worth the effort. I have copy pasted my master grid for reference (I have removed the name of medicines)



No.1 (4 yrs)
No.2 (11months)
Mom Dad

Medicine
Dosage
Medicine
Dosage
Medicine 
Fever

Stomach infection

Acidity/Gas

 NA
Rashes
Eyes
Ears





Cut
Antiseptic cream
Same

Antiseptic powder

Band-aid

Bruises
Spray
Same
Spray
Balm
Balm
Cream
Cream
Cold-Running nose


Cold only cough


Cold antibiotic


Headache
NA 
Vertigo
Burns







If this looks complicated, uncomplicate it, simplify it or make completely new but put in the effort once and you can always use and modify later if required. In addition to above my medical box also has a mosquito repellent, thermometer, antiseptic and cotton.

4. Medical record: Make sure to carry the medical records with you. God forbid if an unforeseen medical problem arrives you should have their medical history handy (We carry their medical files without any extensive reports)

5. Packing: For clothes I follow a simple rule: “Carry double”/atleast 2 pair/each day for my 4 yr old and have modified it to “Carry 4 times” for my 11 month old.

o Extra extra extra pair of socks, undergarments and hankies (more than twice as per your estimate)

Carrying so many extra clothes will result into lots of luggage. Some tricks that I use are: Carry 2-3 common jeans/dark colored bottoms, do not carry inner vests extra (It’s ok if they do not wear them on few days), water wash socks on alternate days and carry less number, and carry similar colored clothes- can be mix-matched with a common bottom.

Sort and organise the clothes even in the luggage. I create rows and keep them methodically like Innerwear rows (for all), Night dress for all, Toiletries for all, Light travel wear for all, and good clothes for the trip for all etc.

Toiletries bag: I normally carry fresh sealed smaller bottles of anything that can explode like shampoo, creams etc. And along with that I carry a lot of zip pouches for my return journey. All open bottles sealed and packed in them.

6. Carry a handy travel bag: It is imperative to carry one handy travel bag. Think of everything under the sun that you could need only during the travel (Air/Train/Bus/Car accordingly). Things that I will always keep for my kids are:

o Extra clothes: Depending on the time of travel to reach the destination keep one or more extra pair of clothes

o Snacks for each child

o Some toys specially favourites. If possible keep a few new toys to keep them interested

o Extra diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, cups, glasses

o I always keep a roll of garbage bin bags with me

o Flashlight

o Cotton (If flying, can plug the kid’s ears)

o Sanitizers

o Baby Carrier (if travelling with a baby)

o Toiletries pouch

o Basic medicine for fever and cream etc for cuts

7. Brand your kids: If your kid can move on his own, brand him. Put a tag in his/her pocket with details like name, contact information of parents, travelling to and fro details, flight/train details etc etc.

8. Checklist: Plan a checklist in advance. Take a print and double check everything before leaving the house. My checklist is a veryyy detailed one which includes things like carrying towels, sunglasses, shoes, sanitizers etc etc.

In addition to this don’t forget one very important thing...close your eyes and pray to God before leaving the house..He will make sure you, your family and everyone around your family will have enough patience and love to endure and ignore the kids through the trip..........and inspite of all the planning if anything (most likely most of the things) goes wrong, put it behind you, don’t think about it and....have fun and don’t forget to add your magic to the trip and build beautiful memories